


To be Held

by shelteredbyshadow



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: But mostly fluff, F/F, Fluff, Love, a small bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4990414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelteredbyshadow/pseuds/shelteredbyshadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometime after the mountain, Lexa has found Clarke in the woods, worked out some stuff, and gotten her to come back to Polis with her. This is a little scene of what happens while there. Oneshot. Sorry, I'm bad at giving a summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a scene that I've had stuck in my head. I do not own the characters nor have I made any profit from borrowing them for the night. Any errors are my own, I wrote this in a hurry when I should be doing my homework, but I hope you enjoy anyway. Message me is you want.

As Clarke began to slowly wake up, she realized that she felt the safest she had in a very long time. It took her a few more seconds of sleepily trying to get her bearings before she figured out why, for the first time in such a long, long time, she felt clam, warm, unworried about her surroundings, and why she hadn’t woken with any terrible nightmares. She just felt safe. Completely and utterly comfortable and safe because, as she began to realize, she was in the Commander’s tent in Polis, wrapped tightly in a bundle of soft, warm furs, and pressed up against something that was even warmer and softer, but dense and strong at the same time. And that something, or rather someone, had one arm wrapped tightly under Clarke’s shoulders to keep her pressed comfortably into the person’s chest while their other arm was loosely holding Clarke’s hips, providing comfort and reassurance without making her feel trapped as Clarke had slept using his person as a pillow with her own arm snugly clinging to their stomach.  
Clarke smiled softly as she realized what must have happened after she fell asleep last night. Lexa had insisted on remaining awake to keep a completely redundant and unnecessary (given the fact that they were in the middle of Polis, in a tent surrounded by at least ten of Lexa’s personal guards) watch over Clarke as she slept. So Clarke had insisted that she would only allow Lexa to guard her if she did it lying next to her in the bed, hoping that Lexa would in fact fall asleep at some point because the girl had looked completely worn down. Lexa, apparently relieved that Clarke was speaking to her again and hadn’t thrown her out of the tent yet (despite the fact that it was Lexa’s tent) had agreed immediately, but had been extremely cautious about not touching Clarke as she settled into the bed next to her. Clarke, still exhausted from her time in the forest alone, had made a mental note of the behavior and promised herself that she would address it in the morning, not wanting to start that conversation late at night in her exhausted mental state. And, it appears that Lexa had in fact fallen asleep at some point during the night, just as Clarke had hoped, and had apparently wanted to cuddle, which Clarke wouldn’t have expected but certainly wasn’t going to complain about considering how comfortable and safe she currently felt.  
For several more minutes Clarke simply laid there, basking in the emotions she was experiencing and thinking that she might be able to fall back asleep for a while, until she made the mistake of shifting the arm that was resting on Lexa’s stomach and fisting her hand tightly in the fabric of Lexa’s loose tank top. The reaction was instantaneous. Lexa’s whole body seemed to tense and freeze as she quickly regained consciousness and realized what had happened. Clarke vaguely wondered how long it had been since Lexa had let herself sleep in the same bed, snuggled close to someone as they were now, and smiled into the chest beneath her at the thought. She was about to say something, wish her a good morning, maybe tease her about falling asleep a little, when Lexa began to move slowly, as if trying to extract herself out from underneath Clarke without waking her.  
Clarke had never felt someone so tense before and she quickly tried to ease the tension in the other girl and get her to remain in the bed with her a bit longer by tightening the hold she had on her stomach, pressing her head down slightly, and mumbling a sleepy, “Wait,” into the shirt below her.  
But none of the tactics seemed to work. In fact, it seemed to have the exact opposite effect as Lexa’s body tensed even more, almost to the point of shaking, as she tried to gently remove herself from Clarke’s grasp while saying, “No, Clarke, I’m sorry, I should not- I should not have-I’m sorry, Clarke, I-“  
Clarke tightened her hold on the Commander even more and shifted her face so that she could look up into the other girl’s eyes without actually picking her head up off of it’s comfortable resting place as she cut off Lexa’s seemingly panicked rambling, “Shhh, Lexa, hey, it’s okay, what’s wrong?”  
Lexa refused to meet Clarke’s eyes as she continued gently attempting to remove Clarke’s hands from their holds while saying, “I’m sorry, Clarke, it is not okay. I have betrayed you again, betrayed the trust I had regained, I’m sorry. Please, let go, I do not deserve your kindness.”  
Frowning even more, Clarke lifted her head and moved her arm with the intent of hovering over Lexa so that she could see her face better, but Lexa took the opportunity to use her years of agility and warrior training to slip out from under Clarke as she was moving. Grumbling, Clarke sat up in the bed and turned to face Lexa, who was now standing with her back to her across the room. “What are you talking about?” she asked.  
Lexa hesitantly turned to face her again and Clarke was surprised to see the amount of emotion present on the usually stoic Commander’s face. She looked sad, regretful, angry, guilty, and simply heartbroken all at once and Clarke found herself immediately getting out of bed to go to the other girl and comfort her.  
Lexa held her hands out in front of her to stop the other girl’s approach, but she still wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I betrayed your trust, there is no excuse, you granted me your trust for a second time and I took advantage of you,” Lexa said, nodding along with her words as if she was just realizing exactly what she had done, “You trusted me and I took advantage and,” Lexa finally looked up into Clarke’s eyes, dropped her hands as if in defeat, and set her jaw and shoulders in acceptance of whatever she had just decided in her mind before she continued, “you have every right to retaliate as you please. No one will stop you or respond, you may do what you wish. If you-“ Lexa faltered and dropped her eyes for just a second before taking a short, deep breath and finishing, “if you choose to leave and never see me again I only ask that you please let me send guards with you. You can take whoever you want. As many as you want, but please just don’t go alone. I couldn’t,” Lexa swallowed hard, “I couldn’t bear it if something were to happen to you because of my stupidity and incompetence, not again.” Her voice tapered off into something small and fragile in the end and once she finished talking, Lexa dropped her gaze again, as if unable to face Clarke’s decision. Her body language screamed pain and sorrow and regret and Clarke could do nothing but stare, slack jawed, at her for a few seconds as she tried to figure out what had just happened.  
Eventually, she took a few cautious steps to close the remaining distance between the two and raised her hand to cup Lexa’s cheek and make the other girl look her in the eyes again. Lexa flinched as she saw the hand come toward her and it stopped Clarke’s heart, along with her movements, cold. She stood frozen for several seconds, her hand hanging in midair between them. Lexa thought she was going to hit her? She thought that she would beat her and leave her and never come back? For what? For falling asleep? Carefully, Clarke finished moving her hand to the other girl’s cheek and caressed it gently to get her to look at her. When she finally did, her eyes still spoke of all of the conflicting emotions from before, but with an added confusion in them now. It broke Clarke’s still repairing heart all over again. “Why do you think you betrayed me again, Lexa?” she questioned gently, “Is it because you fell asleep?”  
Lexa shook her head carefully under Clarke’s touch, clearly reveling in what she probably thought would be the last affectionate gesture the other girl would ever give her. “Not just that, although that is part of it,” she explained softly.  
“Then what is the rest?” Clarke prompted again when the other girl didn’t continue after a few beats.  
“I-“ Lexa swallowed and tried to drop her gaze again, but Clarke couldn’t have it and carefully applied more pressure on her cheek to keep her eyes up, “I- You said you were not ready for affection and then I betrayed you and then barely regained your trust and you trusted me enough to guard you and even let me into your bed as you slept and I tried to refrain, to keep myself from causing any undesired contact, but then you were so warm and peaceful beside me and I-I had been so worried for so long when you were in the forest that I fell asleep, betraying you the first time, and in my sleep I did the most unforgivable thing and I forced you into contact that you had expressly stated you didn’t want and I took advantage and betrayed you and I am so sorry Clarke, I will accept any punishment, anything you ask you may have, please, I am so sorry.” Lexa was out of breath when she finished and Clarke found herself recovering from shock once again. She had never heard the Commander speak so much or in such a disjointed, rambled fashion.  
Clarke was fairly certain she knew what Lexa was talking about, but wanted to clarify one more thing before responding. “When you say ‘forced you into contact’ what do you mean? Do you mean by holding me?”  
Lexa simply nodded and Clarke let out a long breath of relief as she choose her next words carefully. “Lexa, you did not betray or take advantage of me-“ when Lexa opened her mouth to protest Clarke hurried to cut her off, “no, let me finish. You did not betray or take advantage of me. It is true that before the war I told you I was not ready, and that was-is true, I am not ready for romance, not quite yet. However, last night I invited you into bed because, as you said, I do trust you again and, whether you know or accept this or not, I care for you, Lexa, and you looked exhausted and I wanted your company and so I invited you into my bed. I was hoping you would fall asleep, Lexa. I did not expect you to snuggle up to me and hold me in our sleep but” at this the small amount of hope that had been creeping into Lexa’s features died and Lexa looked absolutely crushed and ashamed again. “BUT” Clarke continued more forcefully, “you certainly, in no way, took advantage of me by holding me. I am in no way complaining. Do you know what I was thinking when you woke up and darted from the bed, Lexa?” Clarke asked.  
Lexa gave the smallest shake of her head, a confused look on her face.  
“I was thinking that lying there, in your arms, was the safest I had felt in months. Probably since I landed on Earth. Heck, maybe even since before I was sent down here. And I was so incredibly grateful and happy and safe in your arms. So please, Lexa, don’t think you betrayed my trust, I trust you, I trust you, and it shatters my heart to know that you think me capable of hurting or leaving you so soon after having found you again, so please-“ Clarke broke off, unsure of what she was pleading for but hoping that Lexa would understand.  
Lexa’s face had gone back to being unreadable and she merely stared at Clarke for several long seconds before hesitantly asking, “You care for me? I provide you comfort? You desire the comfort I provide?”  
Clarke nodded fervently to each of the Commander’s questions and broke out into a large smile when it seemed that Lexa had, in fact, understood what she was trying to say. This provoked a small, half smile from the other girl for a moment before it faded and Lexa asked, even more hesitant than before, “So I haven’t lost you permanently this time?”  
“No! Of course not,” Clarke assured her before leaning in gently to connect their lips. This kiss was just as gentle and caring as their first, if not more so considering that Lexa was barely responding. It was as if she wasn’t sure if this was really happening or she was afraid that if she kissed back too much it would scare Clarke away or cross one of the lines that she had been so sure she crossed earlier. After several more seconds of tender kissing, Clarke pulled back just enough to separate their mouths before she leaned forward to rest her forehead against Lexa’s, her hand still cupping Lexa’s face. “I care for you, Lexa. And I want to rebuild what we had, what we were starting, and I think I might be almost ready, my time alone gave me a lot of time to think, we just need to go slowly, talk, and I think we’ll be okay.”  
Lexa looked as if every dream she had ever had was suddenly coming true. Her eyes shone with joy and hope, but a small sliver of doubt seemed to be creeping into her mind as well. After a moment, Clarke asked, “What is it? What’s bothering you?”  
Lexa slowly moved her own hands to cup Clarke’s face as she searched her eyes for something that Clarke desperately hoped she would find as Lexa spoke, “I can’t help but fear that this is a dream…or a trick. That I’ll wake up or something will happen only to reveal that you don’t really feel this way, and then I do not know if I will survive. I never let myself hope that you would ever trust me again, let alone be willing to develop a relationship with me, and now that I find myself presented with the option I realize how completely you could destroy me in this moment.”  
Clarke nodded in understanding, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable fear and it was one she was eager to smother as soon as possible. “It’s not a trick or a dream, Lexa, I swear it. I care for you and I trust you. You make me feel so safe and it’s almost like I can feel myself letting go of everything that I’ve had to do, you know, Finn, the missile, the mountain, and move on with my life. Maybe learn to be happy and loved again.”  
This time, the smile on Lexa’s face was breathtaking. “That’s all I have ever wanted. To provide you comfort, to help, to ease the burden.”  
Clarke smiled in return and leaned forward slightly to press a delicate kiss on Lexa’s lips one more time. This time, Lexa did not hesitate to respond. After a second, Clarke pulled back again and whispered, “Good. Now, will you come back to bed for a while, I was very comfortable.” Lexa’s smile only seemed to grow as she nodded and let herself be pulled back to the pile of furs.


	2. Lexa's Point of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided to write the same scene but from Lexa's point of view (I have several papers due soon and am obviously procrastinating). I thought it might be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And hey look, I think I figured out how to make paragraph breaks properly on this site. Yay. But anyway, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, critiques, requests, or anything, comment/message me and we'll go from there. So...yeah. I hope you like it. I'm going to go frantically analyze Hem now.

Darkness had fallen hours ago as Leksa sat, bolt upright, next to a sleeping Klark. Her eyes had started drooping what felt like ages ago, but she refused to let herself fall asleep even though Klark was making the furs feel warmer and more comforting than Leksa could ever remember feeling them before. Because that was exactly the problem. Klark was in her bed. Klark had trusted her with this task. After having spent so long searching for the other girl and wondering if she would ever see Klark again, let alone be gifted this much trust and allowed this close to her, there Klark was. Looking tired and a bit worse for wear after her time alone in the forest, but safe, whole, warm, and sleeping peacefully in Leksa’s bed at the same time. And she had trusted Leksa to sit with her on the bed, guard her, and protect her in her weakened state despite Leksa’s previous betrayal; and Leksa was not going to spit on such a precious gift of trust by falling asleep. She had let herself become weak for this girl, shown her that weakness, and now she must prove that she is still strong enough to protect her and be trusted. She must earn the trust that Klark has so willingly given her again. She would not betray her a second time, Leksa nodded to herself to confirm the thought as she scanned the tent to insure that it had remained secure before allowing her eyes to return to the seeping blonde beside her. She was safe. Leksa nodded again and let out a heaving sigh of relief as the thought fully sank in. Klark was safe. Leksa blinked her eyes for just a moment. They remained shut.

Something moved on her stomach and Leksa woke to a warm, comforting pressure on her chest. She felt her arms securely wrapped around a warm body and suddenly her mind processed what was going on and every muscle in her body froze. She had failed. Betrayed Klark yet again. Because here she was neglecting her responsibilities as guard and holding Klark forcefully against her body, an intimate touch that Klark had told her explicitly before the mountain that she was not ready for, when Leksa was supposed to be providing safety, security, and a place of comfort for Klark. Leksa swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes shut to fight back the burn of tears that had started to form there. That would not help now.  


Instead, Leksa assessed the situation quickly. Klark’s body was still limp and her breathing was still mostly even and calm. There was a strong chance that Klark was still asleep and the movement that had woken Leksa was made unconsciously. That would mean that Klark might still be unaware of Leksa’s betrayal. It was possible, Leksa reasoned, that if she managed to move from the bed without waking the other girl, Klark wouldn’t be so angry with her. Maybe Klark wouldn’t leave her. Leksa would still have to tell Klark of her transgression, of course, but maybe if Klark didn’t have to wake up being forced into an intimate situation she wasn’t ready for, her wrath would not be so bad. Leksa held her breath and attempted to slide out from under Klark as carefully as she could while doing her best not to wake her. This was her last hope at at least keeping Klark in her life. 

However, soon the arm that Klark had laying across Leksa’s stomach tightened its hold on Leksa as she tried to move while Kalrk’s head pressed more firmly to her chest. A soft, “Wait,” was then mumbled sleepily into Leksa’s shirt and she knew she had been caught. Leksa’s body tensed even more and her blood ran cold as she thought about what would happen next. Klark might still be somewhat asleep, but soon her mind would process what had happened and she would yell and demand retribution for this betrayal and then leave, taking the remnants of Leksa’s heart with her and it would be Leksa’s fault. Another love lost to her own incompetence. 

Leksa felt her movements turn almost frantic as she tried to extract herself gently from Klark’s hold. She was vaguely aware of her mouth uttering rambled apologies and pleads for Klark to let her go while she continued to try to shift out from the other girl. 

After a moment, Klark’s hold tightened on her even more and she shifted her head to look Leksa in the face while whispering, “Shhh, Lexa, hey, it’s okay, what’s wrong?”

Leksa’s heart ached even more and she did everything in her power to avoid looking Klark in the eyes. She couldn’t bear the shame. Here, she had betrayed Klark yet again and Klark was trying to comfort her. To calm her down and make her feel better. Realizing that Klark must not have realized what she had done, she tried to explain while still gently pulling at the arm Klark was using to hold her in place. “I’m sorry, Klark, it is not okay. I have betrayed you again, betrayed the trust I had regained, I’m sorry. Please, let go, I do not deserve your kindness.”

At this Klark finally seemed to understand and she released Leksa and began to shift away from her. Leksa immediately tried to help put as much space between them as Klark desired and shot out of the bed and across the tent as fast as she could while keeping her back to Klark, unsure of how the other girl would react and what she might do. She heard Klark make a grumbling noise behind her, one that on any other day in any other situation would have Leksa falling even more for the blond, but was now just instilling her with even more guilt. Klark was angry. She had lost her forever now, she thought bitterly to herself. Which is why she was surprised that when Klark spoke next, she did not yell. She simply asked, “What are you talking about?” in a clearly confused tone.

Clearly the other girl still hadn’t realized that Leksa had betrayed her again. That she had taken advantage of her. The other girl had always been slow to rise in the mornings. Slowly, Leksa braced herself and turned to face Klark. She could feel that her face was showing emotions she usually kept hidden, but she couldn’t seem to stop them from coming.

As soon as she turned around, Klark shot from the bed and came toward her. For a moment, Leksa thought she was going to attack and take her revenge. But, the concerned look that covered the other girl’s face made her think otherwise and, when she realized that Klark was planning on comforting her, Leksa held her hands out and kept her eyes down, desperately trying to find a way out of this situation, a way to keep Klark from leaving her, as she began to explain what had happened. “I betrayed your trust, there is no excuse, you granted me your trust for a second time and I took advantage of you,” Leksa nodded to herself, thinking that surly Klark would understand now. 

She continued, “You trusted me and I took advantage and,” Leksa raised her eyes to meet Klark’s while dropping her arms, squaring her shoulders, and clenching her jaw so that she could be ready for any revenge Klark might take upon her as she finally understood what she had done. Leksa would not fight back, no matter what Klark decided to do. “You have every right to retaliate as you please. No one will stop you or respond, you may do what you wish. If you-“ Leksa couldn’t continue. Klark was going to leave her and she would not be able to protect her again. She would be forced to worry and wait for any scrap of news about the other girl. She would never again be able to personally insure her safety and it felt like a hole was being cut into her chest. Maybe, Leksa thought desperately, Klark would allow her to send guards with her. 

In a last ditch effort to insure some form of protection for her, Leksa took a short breath and risked making her proposal, “If you choose to leave and never see me again I only ask that you please let me send guards with you. You can take whoever you want. As many as you want, but please just don’t go alone. I couldn’t.” Leksa swallowed hard. “I couldn’t bear it if something were to happen to you because of my stupidity and incompetence, not again.” As she finished her emotions were making it more and more difficult to speak and she hated how weak her voice sounded when she finally stopped speaking. She was weak. She didn’t deserve Klark and she couldn’t protect her. Maybe it was best that Klark leave. Suddenly, Leksa couldn’t look Klark in the eyes again and dropped her gaze. 

The next few moments were agony for Leksa as she waited for Klark’s reaction. Eventually, in her periphery vision she saw the other girl move closer to her. Then, Klark’s hand began to rise and Leksa couldn’t stop herself from flinching both to keep herself from reacting in defense and because the realization that she was about to be beaten by the woman she loved felt like one of those metal bullets tearing through her chest. But, the hand froze in the air as if Klark was unsure of where to strike her first and Leksa waited, tense and aching. After what felt like a lifetime, the hand began to move again, but slowly, until it came to gently rest on Leksa’s cheek. The affection in the touch made Leksa want to cry. Surly this was some cruel trick. That would be a fitting punishment. But, the pressure of the hand seemed to be guiding Leksa to look up, so she did, and was confused by the look and Klark’s face. She too looked confused. They stared at each other for a heartbeat before Klark spoke. “Why do you think you betrayed me again, Lexa?” she questioned more gently than Leksa deserved, “Is it because you fell asleep?”

Klark still didn’t understand what she had done, but she was almost there. Leksa shook her head, careful not to dislodge Klark’s hand should she decide to use it in some way. “Not just that, although that is part of it,” she explained in a quiet voice, hoping that would be enough for Klark.

“Then what is the rest?” Klark prompted. She was going to make her say it. This must be part of the punishment, Leksa realized, surly Klark knew by now what she had done.

“I-“ Leksa swallowed hard and prepared herself for whatever was going to happen. She attempted to drop her gaze to make this easier but the pressure Klark was applying to her cheek wouldn’t let her. She didn’t deserve even that, Leksa realized. The thought sent Leksa into a sort of frenzy as she frantically tried to get the words out so that she could get on with Klark’s revenge. “I- You said you were not ready for affection and then I betrayed you and then barely regained your trust and you trusted me enough to guard you and even let me into your bed as you slept and I tried to refrain, to keep myself from causing any undesired contact, but then you were so warm and peaceful beside me and I-I had been so worried for so long when you were in the forest that I fell asleep, betraying you the first time, and in my sleep I did the most unforgivable thing and I forced you into contact that you had expressly stated you didn’t want and I took advantage and betrayed you and I am so sorry Klark, I will accept any punishment, anything you ask you may have, please, I am so sorry.” Leksa was out of breath and on the verge of tears again. Her heart felt like it had imploded in her chest. Saying what she had done out loud made it one hundred times more real and horrible.

“When you say ‘forced you into contact’ what do you mean? Do you mean by holding me?” Klark asked, making Leksa admit exactly what she had done.

Leksa just nodded, physically unable to say it again. It felt like someone had poured her war paint down her throat.

To her surprise, Klark let out a sigh of relief at Leksa’s nod. Did Klark think Leksa had done worse things to her while she slept? The thought made Leksa’s stomach turn and her skin crawl. She would never! But, she conceded, Klark didn’t know that. Leksa had already betrayed her so many times. It would be reasonable for Klark to assume the worst. When Klark began to speak again, Leksa waited for her decision on bated breath. “Lexa, you did not betray or take advantage of me-“ Klark said. 

Immediately Leksa’s mouth opened to protest. She had just explained! But Klark kept speaking, “no, let me finish.” Leksa’s mouth snapped shut. “You did not betray or take advantage of me. It is true that before the war I told you I was not ready, and that was-is true, I am not ready for romance, not quite yet. However, last night I invited you into bed because, as you said, I do trust you again and, whether you know or accept this or not, I care for you, Lexa, and you looked exhausted and I wanted your company and so I invited you into my bed.” Leksa’s heart seemed to soar in her chest. Could it be possible that Klark wasn’t angry with her or was this just a trick? Another part of her punishment? Leksa prayed to her ancestors that it wasn’t. “I was hoping you would fall asleep, Lexa.” Leksa felt like she could cry again. Maybe Klark wouldn’t leave. Maybe she hadn’t lost her again. If she had been hoping for it, maybe it wasn’t as much of a betrayal that Leksa fell asleep. If she had wanted Leksa’s company, maybe. “I did not expect you to snuggle up to me and hold me in our sleep but” as Klark continued Leksa’s heart crashed again and she suddenly knew that no, it wouldn’t work out so easily. Of course it wouldn’t. ““BUT” Klark continued more forcefully, “you certainly, in no way, took advantage of me by holding me. I am in no way complaining. Do you know what I was thinking when you woke up and darted from the bed, Lexa?” Klark asked.

Leksa gave a small shake of her head, unsure of what to even think or expect now. 

“I was thinking that lying there, in your arms, was the safest I had felt in months. Probably since I landed on Earth.” Leksa’s heart soared again and only continued to rise as Klark continued to speak. “Heck, maybe even since before I was sent down here. And I was so incredibly grateful and happy and safe in your arms. So please, Lexa, don’t think you betrayed my trust, I trust you, I trust you, and it shatters my heart to know that you think me capable of hurting or leaving you so soon after having found you again, so please-“ Klark tapered off, seemingly losing hold of her words, but Leksa didn’t need more words. All of her dreams and prayers had just been answered, if this wasn’t a trick. 

Leksa kept her face passive again as she considered what Klark had just said. If it was true, then she hadn’t lost her and, in fact, might even have a chance of gaining a relationship with her. But, Leksa wanted to be sure she had properly understood what Klark was saying. “You care for me? I provide you comfort? You desire the comfort I provide?” she asked carefully. 

Klark nodded repeatedly to each of her questions and gave her one of the brightest smiles that Leksa had ever seen appear on the other girl’s face. It forced a small twitch of a smile appear on her own face before she realized that she needed to ask one more question, just to be sure Klark wasn’t going to leave. She couldn’t bear it if she left now, not after she had given Leksa so much hope. “So I haven’t lost you permanently this time?” Leksa asked quietly. 

“No! Of course not,” Klark assured her and Leksa’s heart felt like it was whole again for the first time in years. Then, before she could even fully process what was happening, Klark was leaning forward and then their lips connected and Klark was kissing her. Klark was kissing her! And Leksa had no idea how to respond. She gently applied pressure back for the length of the kiss, desperately hoping that she wouldn’t upset Klark or break whatever trust she apparently, magically, still held for Leksa. After an amount of time that to Leksa was infinitely too short, Klark pulled back and Leksa momentarily panicked that she had done something wrong until Klark rested her forehead against Leksa’s and Leksa calmed again. “I care for you, Lexa. And I want to rebuild what we had, what we were starting, and I think I might be almost ready, my time alone gave me a lot of time to think, we just need to go slowly, talk, and I think we’ll be okay,” Klark told her.

Leksa couldn’t believe her ears. Klark wanted to be with her after everything she had done. She wanted to be with her! But what if this wasn’t real? What if this was a trick and Klark would soon tell her that of course she wasn’t serious? What if she still left? Or worse, what if she were dreaming? This could all just be some elaborate dream and she could wake up alone in her furs at any moment with no hope of ever getting to hold or kiss Klark again. The thought made her mind spin more and more into a panic until Klark’s voice cut through all of her thoughts. “What is it? What’s bothering you?” Klark asked.

Carefully, Leksa moved her hands up to cup Klark’s face to soak up as much of this trick or dream or whatever it was before it disappeared out from under her. Then, she spoke softly and told only the truth. Klark deserved the truth. “I can’t help but fear that this is a dream…or a trick. That I’ll wake up or something will happen only to reveal that you don’t really feel this way, and then I do not know if I will survive. I never let myself hope that you would ever trust me again, let alone be willing to develop a relationship with me, and now that I find myself presented with the option I realize how completely you could destroy me in this moment.”

Klark nodded in agreement, but agreement of what Leksa was unsure. “It’s not a trick or a dream, Lexa, I swear it. I care for you and I trust you. You make me feel so safe and it’s almost like I can feel myself letting go of everything that I’ve had to do, you know, Finn, the missile, the mountain, and move on with my life. Maybe learn to be happy and loved again,” Klark explained.

Leksa couldn’t help but smile at that. “That’s all I have ever wanted. To provide you comfort, to help, to ease the burden,” she was quick to respond. 

Klark returned her smile as she leaned forward to press another kiss to Leksa’s lips. She did not hesitate to return the pressure this time. She vowed in that moment that she would spend the rest of her days showing Klark just how much she means to her. “Good,” Klark whispered after they broke apart. “Now, will you come back to bed for a while, I was very comfortable,” she continued with a cheeky grin. And, as she began to pull Leksa back to the bed of furs, Leksa couldn’t help but let the smile on her face grow along with her heart. It was okay. Klark wasn’t going to leave this time and, if Leksa continued to act appropriately, perhaps she would never leave her again.


End file.
